A Shoulder to Crayon.

I’m not a medical professional. I haven’t been trained to do this. I have never said I could cure people of anything, and I haven’t been through every single life experience to know what its like to be in every single situation.

But for some people, having somewhere to vent anonymously without fear of being judged can do the world of good. What I can do, is listen and care and understand that everyone matters. Its not the best, but its the best I can do. And if I can help just one person feel even a little bit better, then its worth it. 

(Incidentally, with respect, you don’t know anything about my own life situation or what I have been through. So don’t tell me what I do or don’t know about.) 

Aw thank you for coming to say hello :) I like your blog, you seem nice. I hope you’re feeling ok. 

This is really sad to hear, and firstly I want you to know that you don’t deserve to feel this way. Nobody does. You deserve to feel at ease, content, relaxed, and happy. And you can and will, once this has cleared over. Right now you are suffering a lot, and I’m really sorry to hear that. It sounds like things are a big struggle for you at the moment. The awful thing about depression is the way it can make you think about yourself, and the way other people feel about you. The most important thing you need to remember is that you are not alone in this. Hold on to the fact that your family love you- and I promise you, they like you too. 

I care about you. I don’t know who you are, but I know that you’re somewhere out there reading this, and I honestly hope you can find some comfort in these words. I want you to know I’m thinking of you right now, and I care.

It’s very positive that you have a therapist you can talk to. And I know you don’t want to see them anymore, but please carry on. Even if you don’t feel like it’s doing much good, it will get there slowly, and you need someone around you who can check your progress. And I know you don’t want to, and it might feel like an impossible task, but telling your therapist as much as you can, in complete honesty will help so much. Some things might be hard to say, or you might be scared, but think, it might be 15 minutes of an awkward, difficult conversation, which will then lift a weight of your shoulders forever. It is so much easier to numb yourself, cut yourself off, and lie, but the depression will engulf you and it will get more and more difficult. Take things easy. Rest often, eat healthily, and don’t feel guilty for sleeping a lot- depression is an illness, and you wouldn’t feel guilty for staying in bed with a broken leg. Depression should be no different. Take some strain off yourself and allow yourself some slack. Breath deep. Listen to music. Rest. The knot in your head needs to unwind. Focus only on making yourself feel better. And please, talk to your therapist about how you feel. 

That’s nothing to feel embarrassed or guilty about. If you’ve vented a lot to people, then it’s because you’ve needed to, and it’s much healthier to talk it out rather than bottle it up. It’s a very human thing to do, and I believe it’s vital. True, some people get fed up listening to it, but not everyone. And if people know you are there for them too, then they should be ok with it. Never feel guilty for reaching out to people, just be aware that not everyone will reach back. Some people aren’t equipped to deal with things like that, or may not be in the right frame of mind themselves. It isn’t your fault or theirs, they’ve just got their own things going on which might cause them to shut someone out who clearly needs a friend. 

But really, it sounds like what you need is a place to vent, and then a place for friends. To open up to people you don’t know very well and subsequently ‘freak them out’ suggests you really need someone there for you right now. I’m always here, and if you want to rant and rave and vomit your emotions all over my ask box, then I’m happy to listen to as much or as little as you need. Maybe getting it out your system here would be a help. Like writing a diary but knowing at least SOMEONE else knows what your going through. And hey, I’m as completely anonymous as you are, so there’s nothing to worry about. 

Just don’t feel guilty or embarrassed for trying to get comfort from people. Everyone goes through rough times and becomes the ‘broken friend’ of the group sometimes. You’re probably just one of the few people to acknowledge and admit it. 

Thank you so much :) I love your blog. 

That sounds like things are steadily getting harder for you, and I’m really sorry. Depression is such a difficult thing to suffer from, as your feelings don’t always have anything to do with how good or bad your life is at the time. Things can be going really well, but depression can still take hold, just like any other illness, and stop you from enjoying it. Firstly I want to say that you shouldn’t feel guilty for how an illness is making you feel. It is not you, or your own rational thoughts.

And I think it’s beautiful that even through this, you can recognise how much you love and admire your ‘beautiful daughter.’ That is a really lovely thing, and she must mean the world to you if you can hold on to so much love for her so selflessly, even while you are suffering. She is a very lucky girl to be so loved and protected. 

If things are getting bit much, have you thought about going to a doctor, maybe to see if they would recommend anti-depressants? They might not be the right choice for you, but I still think it’s important that a medical professional knows what you are going through, because it’s important to have as much support as possible. And if you have always suffered this way, there might be something they can do about it.

Everybody deserves happiness and wellbeing, and you are no exception. Maybe right now things feel bleak, but just think how far you have come. You are such a strong person to have felt this way and carried on, and now you have a daughter who you obviously care for, and she loves you too. You are amazingly strong, and don’t forget that. You are making it through each day, regardless of the battles you are fighting inside, and at the end of every day you are a stronger person for it. There is a light at the end of this, and things will get better. When the sadness lifts- which I promise you will happen- you will be able to see clearly again. I’m so sorry for how you are feeling right now. 

You can always talk to me whenever you want or need to. I’m also happy to answer privately for you if you’d rather. 

Just know that I’m here for you if you need to talk. 

I have a friend with PCOS, I know it can be a difficult thing to deal with sometimes. It is a hormone problem, but you can still get pregnant. Some months your hormones can be normal, and others the levels won’t be high enough for a normal ovulation. When the hormone levels actually are normal, this is when you can get pregnant, but because of these problems there is a higher risk of miscarriage. Also, because you are so young, there is a higher chance of problems during pregnancy. 

Regardless of whether you’re pregnant or not, it’s really important that you eat healthily because hormone imbalances can cause problems like depression. Eat well, sleep plenty, take care of yourself, whether or not you are pregnant. It is possible that you are, but I wouldn’t know and as I said I’m no expert.

Certainly coming off the pill and having 4 periods in one month could mean something is wrong and I really think you should talk to doctor. With a condition like PCOS, it’s important for you to build a good relationship with your local doctor, so you always have someone to talk to about it. It’s a good idea to get as much information as you can about the illness so you know how to manage it. 

And I know your scared to tell your mum, but the most important advice I can give you is that you should talk to her. It might be a difficult conversation, but the most important thing is your health- not whether or not you’re pregnant, you can deal with that hurdle when you come to it- but if something seems abnormal, then you need to see a doctor, no matter how scary it is. And your mum will be there to support you. 

I know about as much as the next person. Although I have been in hospital with period troubles so I’ve discussed it a lot with doctors. But I’m certainly no expert. What’s wrong?